Welcome to my blog! First of all, I would like to preface this by saying that I have never had a blog before. Secondly, I would like to say that I can post about all sorts of things! You never know what sort of useful information you might find here. Now, lets get started!
Safety and Growth
According to the enneagram, to move from a place of false love and dependency on ideals that we simply cannot meet, we need to move to a place of frustration at how we have been wronged and choose anger, depth, hard work, and expansion over fear.
I philosophize that there are two ways to trick people into beginning this initial stage of growth from dependency to independence, from dependence to safety and security in their own autonomous selves (and ability to recognize and meet their own needs):
1) Expand. Provide a novel experience such a dressing eccentrically or wearing dramatic clothes or makeup, or singing and dancing in public. Anything that is actively expansive in nature.
2) Deepen. Get deep and spark controversy such as discussing spirituality, politics, philosophy, mathematics, and basically show off your intelligence. Anything that is mentally deepening.
These both provide examples to others that it's okay to be yourself, and it is safe to be yourself.
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OFF TOPIC:
A wonderful exercise you can do to practice knowing how to be yourself: write instructions! Write bullet pointed instructions (as if instructing someone else) on how to be like you/be you. It will help you get organized.
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much love, franklin speedy
Needs and Wants
People function based on their needs and wants. A need is simply a want that is generated from wholesome mind. (See Buddhism.) There are basic needs, such as food water and shelter, and there are individualized needs that are very specific from individual to individual (no I will not give an example), but in between that there are three major categories of need, each required in varying degrees for every idnividual.
To love and be loved. By yourself for yourself, by friends for friends, by lovers for lovers, in all ways shapes and forms. The study of love alchemy and the types of love is highly encouraged, as well as love languages and attachment styles.
To make and become art. This can be any art, and any and everything can be considered art (computer coding, tae kwon do, performance of social customs, etc.)
To be yourself authentically and individually. To realize the core of your personality and integrate all aspects of yourself into one authentic and attuned person. To find your niche.
much love, franklin speedy.
The 9 Ways Challenge
The 9 ways challenge is a challenge towards politeness, authenticity, and curiosity about others. It is a framework for conversation.
Have you ever not known what to say? Now you have a guide.
The 9 ways challenge works like this:
You can start a phrase, message, sentence, or group of sentences one of 9 ways:
WAY EXAMPLE
I I like that!
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Please,
Thank you Please do the dishes.
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Who, what,
when, where,
how, why What kind of conditioner do you use?
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ABSTRACT
Exercise: the 9 ways challenge ->
The 9 ways challenge and how it revolutionizes conversation:
Please and thank you: expresses interest. Tells an emotional story. Provides a timeline.
Example: please complete this task.
It adds vulnerability.
Example: thank you.
It adds gratitude.
I language.
I language is excellent for owning your experiences, thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions, and actions. It gives a sense of self.
Example: I saw a bird.
Who saw it?
What did you see?
It answers the most curious questions.
Open ended questions: the conversation piece.
Forced the people talking to think for a moment. Gives the option of silence.
Who? What?
Fills in the picture. Leaves out no details.
Inspires the pursuit of curiosity.
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